Where did the time go? I think I say that every day. I usually say that about 3 or 4 in the afternoon, when I have not gotten to even half of what I had planned for the day.
One may think that one of the authors of a weblog of this nature would have a perfectly clean home, with dinner on the table right on time, and with all my tasks completed at the end of the day. The expectation may be even greater in that I do not have children, but only three cats. Surely, I could keep up with everything.
Sadly, that is not the case. Right now, I am contending with a dish monster because I did not do them last night. I had to quickly iron a shirt for my spouse, because she needs at least one to wear for work tomorrow. I had to leave the rest of the shirts for tomorrow. I did the laundry last Saturday, and it is almost Wednesday, and I am just now getting to the ironing. Oh yes, some of the shirts are left from last week. I still have a closet and a back porch filled with boxes of stuff that has not been unpacked since about 2 years ago, when we moved into this house.
Aside from that, I am struggling to make myself finish with the business I am trying to close. At some point, I do think I need to get serious about getting my astrology practice off of the ground. Oh dear, I should probably do the charts that I have promised friends and family first.
Oh yes, I did want to learn Japanese. I started a while back, and I have a book to learn hiragana, but I have not touched it in a couple of months. I also have Dr. Lee Lehman’s Medical Astrology book I have been working my way though, but I have been working through it for months. I also want to read Ptolemy and Aristotle. I am also trying to work my way through Little Women. Oh yes, as I mentioned in my last post, I want to get started on my holiday gift making. I have gotten one and a half fingers done since my last post.
There is a quote from the Christian written tradition, “The Spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Sadly, that applies to me right now.
If I were a more practical person, I would probably read books about time management. I have read those books in the past. I have also received some wise guidance from a wonderful mentor. The reality is that I am not a very practical person. I would love to be, but I really am not.
I might not be all that practical, but I do have some knowledge that can help me. Given that my trouble seems to be time, I know that time is governed by the Janya (or Filianic Angel), Sai Rhavë. Sai Rhavë’s planet is Saturn. It just so happened that I just went through a Saturn opposition and Saturn has just crossed my Ascendant, moving from my 12th House to my 1st House.
What all of this means, for those who do not know astrology, who are probably most of the readers of this blog, is that I have been and am still facing the lessons of Sai Rhavë right now. Astrologers generally consider Saturn a malefic, and so she is, at least on the physical level. Despite this, I have learned over the years, that while Sai Rhavë can be a rather harsh and severe taskmistress, she can also reward those who learn and practice her lessons.
One of these lessons is that of humility. I need to accept I can only do so much, and that it may take me time to learn to manage the new routine. The routine of a housewife is much different than the routine of the workplace. One generally does not have specific deadlines or anyone giving any guidance as to what should be done when. Sometimes just making a decision where to start can be a challenge. I am physically out of shape, and I am not one with a lot of physical energy in general. My knees can often only handle so much. I am also not a very organized person in general. I don’t know how many times I have come up with systems like task lists, only to spend more time on the system than I do on doing the tasks.
Another lesson is that of patience. Things are going to take as long as they take. When I started this, I had illusions that in the first month I would have the house completely organized, have my old business finished, and have my new business at least off of the ground. I guess that was a bit unrealistic. Sometimes, I feel like I am not making any progress at all. I think one of the tricks to patience is to be happy with small victories. One of the small victories I am having is learning to cook. I am slowly adding new things to my repertoire. My latest is meatloaf. I was rather proud of myself yesterday when I managed to have the meatloaf and all of the sides ready at about the same time, and I managed to get everything on the table without a major panic. It is a small victory, but one must take the victories she can get. I have also managed to write fairly regularly for this blog and the others I write for. I think I can take that as another victory.
One of the most important lesson of Sai Rhavë, though, is the lesson of persistence. I need to just keep going, a little at a time, without giving up or getting discouraged. That can be the hardest lesson of all. I am fortunate in that my spouse has been mostly patient with me as I am fumbling through the changes. She tells me dinner is good, and she is generally supportive of my efforts. Money is a bit of a worry, but I think that money is always a worry. I just need to keep plugging away a little at a time and trust and have faith. I have to do my best, and hope that my best is enough.
Thank you for reading through my worries and woes. I hope you are all not completely disillusioned by these confessions.